Tag Archives: marriage

PRACTICES THAT HURT THE LORD’S CHURCH: WIVES MISTREATING THEIR HUSBANDS by Willie A. Alvarenga

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Another harmful practice that we can add to the list, and one that has seriously harmed the Lord’s church, is wives mistreating their husbands. This has been a very serious problem for a long time and, sadly, it continues to affect many Christian homes. God designed marriage to be a relationship of love, respect, mutual help, and spiritual edification (Gen. 2:18; Eph. 5:22-33). When a wife fails to fulfill the responsibilities, God has given her, she not only affects her marriage, but also the spiritual stability of the home and the well-being of the church.

The mistreatment of husbands by wives can be observed in many ways: (1) Not showing respect toward their husbands (Eph. 5:33; 1 Pet. 3:1-6), (2) Not submitting to them according to the order established by God (Eph. 5:22-24; Col. 3:18), (3) Being quarrelsome and contentious with their husbands (Prov. 21:9; 27:15), (4) Being wrathful and controlled by anger (Prov. 21:19), (5) Speaking evil of their husbands before others (Eph. 4:29; Mt. 12:36-37), (6) Refusing to live as the virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31, (7) Being foolish women who tear down their homes with their own hands (Prov. 14:1), (8) Failing to honor marital faithfulness (Heb. 13:4; Mt. 5:28), (9) Neglecting the home and family responsibilities (Tit. 2:4-5), (10) Becoming a stumbling block to their husbands by failing to encourage them spiritually (Job 2:9), (11) Refusing to demonstrate a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God (1 Pet. 3:4), and (12) Failing to fulfill their marital duties (1 Cor. 7:1-5).

In some cases, the behavior of certain wives has become one of the reasons many husbands do not live happily with them. It also prevents husbands from properly fulfilling the duties they have within marriage. This should never be the case; nevertheless, sadly, it often is. Many husbands suffer emotionally and spiritually because of the mistreatment they receive from their wives. These wives do not always consider the great harm they cause when their behavior is not in harmony with the will of God.

The Bible clearly teaches that the home must be characterized by peace, love, and mutual edification. Colossians 3:19 commands husbands to love their wives and not be bitter against them; likewise, wives should seek to have a conduct that helps and strengthens their husbands. Marriage was not designed to be a relationship of competition, manipulation, or disrespect, but rather a union where both glorify God (Eccl. 4:9-12).

In what ways does the mistreatment of husbands by wives affect the church? Consider the following consequences:

  1. Husbands are hindered from fulfilling the responsibilities God has entrusted to them.
  2. Some husbands do not become preachers because their wives do not wish to support them in the work of the Lord.
  3. Some are unable to serve as elders because of the unfaithful or disorderly conduct of their wives before God (1 Tim. 3:1-7; Tit. 1:6-9).
  4. Others cannot become deacons because of a lack of spiritual support in the home (1 Tim. 3:12).
  5. Many cannot fully participate in certain ministries because of constant conflicts within the marriage.
  6. The church receives reproach from the world when it observes the unfaithful conduct of some wives.
  7. The Word of God is blasphemed because of wives who fail to fulfill their God-given duties (Tit. 2:5).
  8. Children are negatively affected when they grow up in homes filled with conflict and disrespect.
  9. The spiritual atmosphere of the home is weakened, affecting prayer, Bible study, and faithfulness to God.
  10. Satan takes advantage of these difficulties to divide homes and weaken the church (1 Pet. 5:8).

This is a very serious matter with painful consequences. The church is hurt when married Christian women do not conduct themselves as God commands in His Word. It should always be the case that God’s people strive to live in such a way that He may be glorified in the lives of all the members of the church (Mt. 5:16; 1 Cor. 10:31).

Thanks be to God, change is possible. Our heavenly Father has provided everything necessary for wives to develop a godly and pleasing character before Him. Through the study of the Word, prayer, humility, and a sincere desire to obey God, every wife can become a blessing to her husband, her home, and the church. All wives are encouraged to strive every day to become the kind of wife God commands them to be. This can truly be accomplished!

Willie A. Alvarenga | btsop2004@gmail.com

PRACTICES THAT HURT THE LORD’S CHURCH – HUSBANDS MISTREATING THEIR WIVES by Willie A. Alvarenga

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Another dangerous practice that we can add to the list—one that has seriously harmed the Lord’s church—is that of husbands mistreating their wives. This has been a very serious problem for a long time, and one that continues to cause pain, sorrow, and division in many homes. The mistreatment of wives by their husbands can be seen in the following ways:

  1. Failing to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25)
  2. Treating their wives harshly (Col. 3:19)
  3. Failing to provide for the physical and spiritual needs of the home (1 Tim. 5:8)
  4. Failing to be the spiritual head of the home (Eph. 5:23)
  5. Not treating their wives as the weaker vessel (1 Pet. 3:7)
  6. Using words that wound and emotionally destroy (Eph. 4:29)
  7. Being unfaithful to them (Matt. 5:28; Heb. 13:4)
  8. Neglecting the time and attention they should give them (Eccl. 9:9)
  9. Acting with selfishness and pride (Phil. 2:3–4)
  10. Physically abusing their wives through domestic violence.

These are only some of the ways a husband can mistreat his wife. Such practices are sinful before God and completely contrary to the divine design for marriage.

Sadly, the mistreatment of wives by their husbands is something that has been observed even in some churches of the Lord. Beloved brethren, this must never be the case in our marriages. The Christian home should be a place where love, respect, understanding, and peace reign. It has never been God’s will for a wife to live in fear, sadness, or insecurity. Marriage was established by God for blessing and companionship (Gen. 2:18, 24), not for suffering or abuse.

The apostle Paul wrote the following to the saints in Ephesus:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones” (Eph. 5:25–30).

Through this section we can observe how the apostle instructs husbands to:

  1. Love their wives with a deep, sacrificial love that imitates Christ’s love for His church,
  2. Always seek the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of their wives,
  3. Love and care for their wives as their own bodies, and
  4. Treat their wives with tenderness, patience, and consideration.

Every husband who obeys these directives will keep himself far from mistreating his wife. However, every husband who ignores the commandments God has established for marriage will end up destroying his own home and drifting away from the divine will.

The Bible clearly teaches that the character of a Christian must reflect gentleness, self-control, and love. Paul wrote: “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice” (Eph. 4:31). He also wrote: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another” (Eph. 4:32). A husband who constantly lives in anger, shouting, threats, and violence is acting in a way that is incompatible with the Christian life.

The apostle Peter also instructed husbands, saying:

“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7).

This passage emphasizes that a husband must honor and respect his wife. The man who humiliates, despises, or mistreats his wife endangers his relationship with God, for his prayers will be hindered.

It is also important to remember that children suffer greatly when they witness violence and mistreatment in the home. A home filled with shouting, threats, and aggression leaves deep emotional wounds. Christian parents must raise their children “in the discipline and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4), showing by their example what a godly and God-pleasing marriage looks like.

Therefore, what else can be done to prevent the mistreatment of wives? Husbands, consider the following:

  1. Remember that your wife is a great blessing in your life (Prov. 18:22)
  2. Remember that your wife must be treated with love, dignity, and respect (1 Pet. 3:7)
  3. Remember that failing to treat your wife well will result in your prayers not being heard or answered by God (1 Pet. 3:7)
  4. Remember that true love “does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked” (1 Cor. 13:4–7)
  5. Remember that you will give account to God for the way you treated your family (Rom. 14:12; 2 Cor. 5:10), and
  6. Remember that mistreating your wife can result in the loss of your hope of eternal life if there is no genuine repentance (Rom. 6:23).

It is imperative to remember that mistreating your wife will prevent you from experiencing spiritual growth according to God’s will. Marriage is an institution established by God and, as such, must be respected and held in high honor (Heb. 13:4). God has already provided sufficient instruction to enjoy a beautiful and stable relationship in marriage. Therefore, let us always strive to show love, patience, respect, and faithfulness toward our wives. Only then will we have strong homes, healthy marriages, and congregations that are pleasing before God.

Challenges Young People Face Today: “Being Wise in Choosing the Person You Want to Marry” by Willie A. Alvarenga

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Another important challenge young people face today is being very wise when choosing the person they want to marry. Sooner or later, most will seek someone to unite with in marriage and build a family in the future. However, the process of finding the right person is not easy, since it involves not only emotions, but also spiritual decisions that will affect one’s entire life. Therefore, every young person who plans to have a family should, from an early age, pray to God for the wisdom needed to make a prudent decision (James 1:5).

The Bible clearly teaches that our decisions must be guided by God and not merely by momentary feelings (Proverbs 3:5–6). Choosing a partner should not be based on physical appearance or temporary interests, but on solid spiritual principles (1 Samuel 16:7). The Christian young person must understand that marriage is a sacred union established by God (Genesis 2:24) and, therefore, requires a wise and well-thought-out decision.

Searching for a marriage partner is a serious task because it involves the following:

  1. Seeking someone who will help me reach heaven one day (Matthew 6:33).
  2. Seeking someone who truly and sincerely loves me (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).
  3. Seeking someone who cares for me in good times and in bad (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12).
  4. Seeking someone who loves God above all things (Matthew 22:37).
  5. Seeking someone who deeply values Christ’s sacrifice on the cross (Ephesians 5:25).
  6. Seeking someone who desires to build a family according to God’s will (Psalm 127:1).
  7. Seeking someone who does not love the world or the things in it (1 John 2:15–17).
  8. Seeking someone who will not become a stumbling block to my spirituality (1 Corinthians 15:33).
  9. Seeking someone willing to fulfill their role in the home: to provide [man] and to care for the home [woman] (1 Timothy 5:8; Titus 2:4–5).
  10. Seeking someone who desires to grow spiritually with me (2 Peter 3:18).

It is also important to remember that patience is key in this process. Such an important decision should not be rushed (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Waiting on God’s timing will always bring better results (Psalm 37:4–5).

Finding a person with these qualities is not only possible, but also attainable if the young person practices spiritual wisdom, studies God’s Word consistently, and maintains a life of prayer. When God guides the decision, the result will be a relationship that not only brings happiness in this life, but also helps both individuals attain eternal life.