Another harmful practice that we can add to the list, and one that has seriously harmed the Lord’s church, is wives mistreating their husbands. This has been a very serious problem for a long time and, sadly, it continues to affect many Christian homes. God designed marriage to be a relationship of love, respect, mutual help, and spiritual edification (Gen. 2:18; Eph. 5:22-33). When a wife fails to fulfill the responsibilities, God has given her, she not only affects her marriage, but also the spiritual stability of the home and the well-being of the church.

The mistreatment of husbands by wives can be observed in many ways: (1) Not showing respect toward their husbands (Eph. 5:33; 1 Pet. 3:1-6), (2) Not submitting to them according to the order established by God (Eph. 5:22-24; Col. 3:18), (3) Being quarrelsome and contentious with their husbands (Prov. 21:9; 27:15), (4) Being wrathful and controlled by anger (Prov. 21:19), (5) Speaking evil of their husbands before others (Eph. 4:29; Mt. 12:36-37), (6) Refusing to live as the virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31, (7) Being foolish women who tear down their homes with their own hands (Prov. 14:1), (8) Failing to honor marital faithfulness (Heb. 13:4; Mt. 5:28), (9) Neglecting the home and family responsibilities (Tit. 2:4-5), (10) Becoming a stumbling block to their husbands by failing to encourage them spiritually (Job 2:9), (11) Refusing to demonstrate a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God (1 Pet. 3:4), and (12) Failing to fulfill their marital duties (1 Cor. 7:1-5).

In some cases, the behavior of certain wives has become one of the reasons many husbands do not live happily with them. It also prevents husbands from properly fulfilling the duties they have within marriage. This should never be the case; nevertheless, sadly, it often is. Many husbands suffer emotionally and spiritually because of the mistreatment they receive from their wives. These wives do not always consider the great harm they cause when their behavior is not in harmony with the will of God.

The Bible clearly teaches that the home must be characterized by peace, love, and mutual edification. Colossians 3:19 commands husbands to love their wives and not be bitter against them; likewise, wives should seek to have a conduct that helps and strengthens their husbands. Marriage was not designed to be a relationship of competition, manipulation, or disrespect, but rather a union where both glorify God (Eccl. 4:9-12).

In what ways does the mistreatment of husbands by wives affect the church? Consider the following consequences:

1. Husbands are hindered from fulfilling the responsibilities God has entrusted to them.
2. Some husbands do not become preachers because their wives do not wish to support them in the work of the Lord.
3. Some are unable to serve as elders because of the unfaithful or disorderly conduct of their wives before God (1 Tim. 3:1-7; Tit. 1:6-9).
4. Others cannot become deacons because of a lack of spiritual support in the home (1 Tim. 3:12).
5. Many cannot fully participate in certain ministries because of constant conflicts within the marriage.
6. The church receives reproach from the world when it observes the unfaithful conduct of some wives.
7. The Word of God is blasphemed because of wives who fail to fulfill their God-given duties (Tit. 2:5).
8. Children are negatively affected when they grow up in homes filled with conflict and disrespect.
9. The spiritual atmosphere of the home is weakened, affecting prayer, Bible study, and faithfulness to God.
10. Satan takes advantage of these difficulties to divide homes and weaken the church (1 Pet. 5:8).

This is a very serious matter with painful consequences. The church is hurt when married Christian women do not conduct themselves as God commands in His Word. It should always be the case that God’s people strive to live in such a way that He may be glorified in the lives of all the members of the church (Mt. 5:16; 1 Cor. 10:31).

Thanks be to God, change is possible. Our heavenly Father has provided everything necessary for wives to develop a godly and pleasing character before Him. Through the study of the Word, prayer, humility, and a sincere desire to obey God, every wife can become a blessing to her husband, her home, and the church. All wives are encouraged to strive every day to become the kind of wife God commands them to be. This can truly be accomplished!

Willie A. Alvarenga | btsop2004@gmail.com